09 September 2008

Insurance Policy

If I do somehow perish on my journey (Mom, this is not actually going to happen), I would like you to think before you act. I won't be around to critique your handling of my death, and there are two specific things I would like you to avoid doing. (This also applies to me dying after the bike trip.)

(1) Leave comments on this blog or profiles I might have on any social networking site as if you were talking to me in the afterlife.
yo adam-
i know your up in heavan now knockin back a few cold ones with The Big Guy, but i wanted to let you know that your sorely missed. your always on my mind forever and always because you touched my heart and since you have done that you will never be forgotten by me. i love you man and wish you were here.
rip adam ur the biker
you're friend,

Come on. Really? If my spirit/soul/whatever were somehow still inhabiting the Earth, I hope it wouldn't waste its time on MySpace instead of flying around through the clouds or something. And even if I did read it, I'm not sure I would find your misspelled condolences touching; the whole thing would probably just creep me out a whole bunch (which would be a pretty big accomplishment by you considering I'm already dead).

(2) Send my family flowers.
While I am sure they would appreciate the thought, the idea of picking flowers out of the ground to send in memory of someone dying seems a little ironic to me. Donate the money you would have spent on flowers to a worthy charity.

I appreciate you cooperating with me on this, but I swear... I will haunt the house of anyone who does either of these.


Benjamin Davis Keane said...

dude your not even dead yet and i totally already miss u. i know u r gonna haunt my house tho so i will see u soon. bummer days brah!

Anonymous said...

here's ur table

$51.80 $50.00
$46.65 $45.00
$41.50 $40.00
$36.35 $35.00
$31.20 $30.00
$26.06 $25.00
$20.91 $20.00
$15.76 $15.00
$10.61 $10.00
$5.46 $5.00

Ricardo said...

LMAO....thats pretty much all i have to say to that...lol

Anonymous said...

I'll be sure to put flowers on your grave when you're dead.

Anonymous said...

Do not trust any dogs you see if you want to stay healthy

Jim said...

I've been doing some morbid research of my own lately. I think cemeteries are a silly waste of space. There isn't enough space in the long run to house everyone in their own little permanent tomb. Also, cremation seems like it must be an awful waste of natural resources. Anyway... the only logical solution (getting buried by your friends and loved ones in someone's backyard) is illegal in over half of our states! Can you believe that?